Journals24
Newest
Raffle Journal! ^^
2 min read
Raffle 01!Hi! o/
Last year I was doing requests, but since that was many, I probably won't be able to continue with them. (Many things to do!). >-<
So I will begin to do raffles every two weeks. (if all goes well)
This will be the first!
If you already got a request by me and want to join, don't worry, anyone can join!
(All requests that I didn't finish, I will do! Don't worry! >w<)
Please follow rules and good lucky!This is raffle is only for tradicional art (when I get 200 watchers, I will make one for digital draw!)
How to participate
Be a watcher.
Hey guys! Be sure to participate!
It's fun and exciting! Come join!
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Test for Diseases
4 min read
So I found this in Google and it feels like this is good...so I'm gonna start!
Anorexia
[x] You hate your body.
[x] You have starved yourself.
[ ] You have low self-esteem.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[ ] You need to be skinnier.
[ ] People always say you're skinny, but you think you're fat.
[ ] People think you are way too skinny.
[ ] You skip at least one meal a day.
[ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion.
Total: 2
ADHD
[x] You are hyper most of the time.
[ ] You barely pay attention to anything. (If I don't take meds)
[ ] You cannot cooperate with people well.
[ ] You seem to never sit still.
[x] You talk all the time.
[ ] You need attention 24/7.
[x] You aren't very shy.
Total: 3
Bipolar Disorder
[x ] You can act wild at times then the next you are severely depressed.
[ ] You are very irritable.
[ ] You barely get any or no sleep.
[x] You have very high self-esteem at times.
[ ] You have used or abused alcohol, drugs or sex.
[x] You have thought of/attempted suicide.
[x] You have the worst mood swings of anyone you know.
Total: 4
Bulimia Nervosa
[x] You've thrown up all your food at one time.
[ ] You've thrown it up even when you don't feel sick.
[x] You have little control over how you eat.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[x] You eat fast.
[ ] You have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[ ] People think you are way too skinny.
Total: 3
Conduct Disorder
[ ] You are a bully.
[ ] You threaten other people.
[x] You often find yourself in fights.
[x] You have used a weapon that could cause injury to others.
[ ] You are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] You have raped/molested someone.
[ ] You destroy property on purpose.
[ ] You always lie.
[ ] You've stayed out all night.
[ ] You have/attempted to run away from home.
Total: 2
Depression
[x] You are always, or normally, feel sad.
[x] You always, or normally, are crying.
[ ] You find no hope in your future.
[ ] You find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] You always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[ ] You are anti-social.
[ ] You have low self-esteem.
[ ] Everything bad that happens is always your fault.
[ ] Hope is no longer there for you.
Total: 3
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
[x] You have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[x] You have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[x] You have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] You have harmed yourself.
[ ] You are afraid you will get an STD, or AIDS.
[ ] You have to check some stuff over again.
Total: 4
Schizophrenia / Anxiety
[ ] You often have hallucinations or sudden memories you can't escape.
[ ] You can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] You think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] You have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite/same sex.
[x] You do not take care of your hygiene as much as others say you should.
[ ] You are very shy.
[x] You often talk to yourself.
Total: 4
OVERALL TOTAL: 24
0-5: You're very normal.
6-15: You're fine.
16-20: You might be okay.
21-30: You have problems.
31-35: You have really bad problems. You might need to see a therapist]
[x] You hate your body.
[x] You have starved yourself.
[ ] You have low self-esteem.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[ ] You need to be skinnier.
[ ] People always say you're skinny, but you think you're fat.
[ ] People think you are way too skinny.
[ ] You skip at least one meal a day.
[ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion.
Total: 2
ADHD
[x] You are hyper most of the time.
[ ] You barely pay attention to anything. (If I don't take meds)
[ ] You cannot cooperate with people well.
[ ] You seem to never sit still.
[x] You talk all the time.
[ ] You need attention 24/7.
[x] You aren't very shy.
Total: 3
Bipolar Disorder
[x ] You can act wild at times then the next you are severely depressed.
[ ] You are very irritable.
[ ] You barely get any or no sleep.
[x] You have very high self-esteem at times.
[ ] You have used or abused alcohol, drugs or sex.
[x] You have thought of/attempted suicide.
[x] You have the worst mood swings of anyone you know.
Total: 4
Bulimia Nervosa
[x] You've thrown up all your food at one time.
[ ] You've thrown it up even when you don't feel sick.
[x] You have little control over how you eat.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[x] You eat fast.
[ ] You have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[ ] People think you are way too skinny.
Total: 3
Conduct Disorder
[ ] You are a bully.
[ ] You threaten other people.
[x] You often find yourself in fights.
[x] You have used a weapon that could cause injury to others.
[ ] You are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] You have raped/molested someone.
[ ] You destroy property on purpose.
[ ] You always lie.
[ ] You've stayed out all night.
[ ] You have/attempted to run away from home.
Total: 2
Depression
[x] You are always, or normally, feel sad.
[x] You always, or normally, are crying.
[ ] You find no hope in your future.
[ ] You find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] You always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[ ] You are anti-social.
[ ] You have low self-esteem.
[ ] Everything bad that happens is always your fault.
[ ] Hope is no longer there for you.
Total: 3
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
[x] You have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[x] You have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[x] You have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] You have harmed yourself.
[ ] You are afraid you will get an STD, or AIDS.
[ ] You have to check some stuff over again.
Total: 4
Schizophrenia / Anxiety
[ ] You often have hallucinations or sudden memories you can't escape.
[ ] You can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] You think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] You have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite/same sex.
[x] You do not take care of your hygiene as much as others say you should.
[ ] You are very shy.
[x] You often talk to yourself.
Total: 4
OVERALL TOTAL: 24
0-5: You're very normal.
6-15: You're fine.
16-20: You might be okay.
21-30: You have problems.
31-35: You have really bad problems. You might need to see a therapist]
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Tags!
7 min read
Okay! Number one, sorry for taking so long for doing this SO SO late! These were tagged LAST YEAR but I got so busy in school that I forgot to do those things. So I compiled THREE journals (because I'm lazy at the moment. Sorry).
BUT LETS GET IT STARTED!
BUT LETS GET IT STARTED!
- 12 Questions! (So this was tagged by:
like last year. (I think everything about these challenges were tagged by HIM. XD )
So his questions are:
1. Home or school?
Hmmmm....Home because I like the atmosphere and school because of allowance and friends
2. PC or Console?
I can say Console has a bit of a disadvantage so ama have to say PC is betta.
3. DA or FA?
.....? What? DA?
4. OCs or FCs?
I would go for OCs.
5. What's (Who's) your most used OC?
Carson and so far every OC is used everyday, well sort of. But yeah, they have equal use.
6. What's your favorite OC?
And what? You mean "Who" XD ? Ama have to say Bliss, she's the main OC I have made ever since I started dA.
7. Favorite day?
Everyday (as long as everything already goes well and big problems don't come up).
8. favorite game?
I cannot say favorite game, because to me, all games are my favorite. No matter what. I'm a gamer, so fuck it.
9. favorite fandom?
I am a fangirl of ANPHY
10. Favorite show?
Cartoon Network. XD
11. Favorite friend on DA?
I don't do favoritism when it comes to friends. Soo ama have to say all of them.
12. Favorite animal?
....DOG....CAT....KITTEN....PUPPIES....RABBITS....Anything cute. >w<
My Questions:
1. What's the most embarrassing moment that you had when you were elementary?
2. What shape can be made when you "2 + 2" ?
3. How did you come across dA?
4. Have you seen 2 Girl and 1 Cup?
5. Can you give me a brand name of a car that starts with P?
6. How do you see me as a person?
7. How old ish chu?
8. What country do you live in?
9. What movie made you cry the most and why?
10. Which video game do you like?
11. What's your favorite animal?
12. Your motto?
1. Home or school?
Hmmmm....Home because I like the atmosphere and school because of allowance and friends
2. PC or Console?
I can say Console has a bit of a disadvantage so ama have to say PC is betta.
3. DA or FA?
.....? What? DA?
4. OCs or FCs?
I would go for OCs.
5. What's (Who's) your most used OC?
Carson and so far every OC is used everyday, well sort of. But yeah, they have equal use.
6. What's your favorite OC?
And what? You mean "Who" XD ? Ama have to say Bliss, she's the main OC I have made ever since I started dA.
7. Favorite day?
Everyday (as long as everything already goes well and big problems don't come up).
8. favorite game?
I cannot say favorite game, because to me, all games are my favorite. No matter what. I'm a gamer, so fuck it.
9. favorite fandom?
I am a fangirl of ANPHY
10. Favorite show?
Cartoon Network. XD
11. Favorite friend on DA?
I don't do favoritism when it comes to friends. Soo ama have to say all of them.
12. Favorite animal?
....DOG....CAT....KITTEN....PUPPIES....RABBITS....Anything cute. >w<
My Questions:
1. What's the most embarrassing moment that you had when you were elementary?
2. What shape can be made when you "2 + 2" ?
3. How did you come across dA?
4. Have you seen 2 Girl and 1 Cup?
5. Can you give me a brand name of a car that starts with P?
6. How do you see me as a person?
7. How old ish chu?
8. What country do you live in?
9. What movie made you cry the most and why?
10. Which video game do you like?
11. What's your favorite animal?
12. Your motto?
- Music Song Challenge!
Rules: You must spell out your username and a song beginning with each letter of said username and then tag as many people as there are letters.
S - Said I Love You, But I Lied - Micheal Bolton (This doesn't mean anything okay?!)
T - To Love Somebody - Bee Gees
E - Everything I Do, I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
P - Perfect - Ed Sheeran
H - Hard Day's Night - The Beatles
Y - Yesterday Once More - The Carpenters
C - Ciao Adios - Anne Marie
H - Heartbeat - Enrique Englesias (Idk if that's right)
A - All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
N - Numb - Linkin Park
1 - 1812 Overture - Pyotr Illich Tchaikovsky
5 - 5 More Hours - Chris Brown
S - Said I Love You, But I Lied - Micheal Bolton (This doesn't mean anything okay?!)
T - To Love Somebody - Bee Gees
E - Everything I Do, I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
P - Perfect - Ed Sheeran
H - Hard Day's Night - The Beatles
Y - Yesterday Once More - The Carpenters
C - Ciao Adios - Anne Marie
H - Heartbeat - Enrique Englesias (Idk if that's right)
A - All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
N - Numb - Linkin Park
1 - 1812 Overture - Pyotr Illich Tchaikovsky
5 - 5 More Hours - Chris Brown
- 13 Questions!
1. What's your favorite part about DA?
Hmm.... to be honest, I don't really know. I mean I love dA pretty much of everything.
2. What's your least favorite Part about DA?
Ah...now that, and the least is, "....IDIOTS. WHO. DO. NOT. FOLLOW. THE. DAMN. RULES."
3. What type of art do you do?
Sketching, Watercoloring, Poster painting, and a lot, buut stil practicing.
4. Who do you look up to in the art world?
I look up to people who have done their best to show their ways of making art.
5. How did you stumble upon DA?
By a beautiful accident: Google. XD
6. Who/What inspired you to begin art?
If it's who, then it would be me and what, then it would be curiousity. XD
7. If you could do anything for a day, what would it be?
DO DIGITAL ART
8. If you won the lottery tomorrow, how would you spend the money?
.w. Family, things needed for the house, a lot actually xD But I'd use it for good. c:
9. Are you an animal lover? If so,what kind?
DOG/CAT/RABBIT Lover <3 (Or anything cute. )
10. What are three fun facts about yourself?
1. I like to play video games even though I'm a girl.
2. I do boyish things because I think it's way cooler and I got influence by my brother.
3. I am a musician-in-training, learning to make music!
12. Do you put cereal in first or milk?
I don't eat cereal. I drink milk.
13. Did you notice I skipped 11?
No....you sneaky bastard. o_o
Hmm.... to be honest, I don't really know. I mean I love dA pretty much of everything.
2. What's your least favorite Part about DA?
Ah...now that, and the least is, "....IDIOTS. WHO. DO. NOT. FOLLOW. THE. DAMN. RULES."
3. What type of art do you do?
Sketching, Watercoloring, Poster painting, and a lot, buut stil practicing.
4. Who do you look up to in the art world?
I look up to people who have done their best to show their ways of making art.
5. How did you stumble upon DA?
By a beautiful accident: Google. XD
6. Who/What inspired you to begin art?
If it's who, then it would be me and what, then it would be curiousity. XD
7. If you could do anything for a day, what would it be?
DO DIGITAL ART
8. If you won the lottery tomorrow, how would you spend the money?
.w. Family, things needed for the house, a lot actually xD But I'd use it for good. c:
9. Are you an animal lover? If so,what kind?
DOG/CAT/RABBIT Lover <3 (Or anything cute.
)10. What are three fun facts about yourself?
1. I like to play video games even though I'm a girl.
2. I do boyish things because I think it's way cooler and I got influence by my brother.
3. I am a musician-in-training, learning to make music!
12. Do you put cereal in first or milk?
I don't eat cereal.
I drink milk.13. Did you notice I skipped 11?
No....you sneaky bastard. o_o
And there you have it! I completed everything XD In a jiffy. So I might tag a lot of people. XD
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...To the person who's reading this. I have some words to say.
People say, it's easy to be me...
People call me something...
Talented...Smart...Cute...Beautiful...
But what crosses my mind are never those things...
I'm not the optimistic type of person.
I'm the exact opposite of that.
I've pretended.
I've hidden for so long.
I act as if I'm smilling.
But honestly, I feel like dying.
Dying...because of how much pain I've already done.
Because of how much pain that I've sucked up.
Because of how much tears I've cried.
Because of how many mistakes I've made, that ended up bad.
Because of how an ignorant fool I am.
Because of how evil I am.
Because of how I am as a disgrace to this family.
A disgrace so big, that I am considered that untrustworthy being.
I am not worthy anymore. I am not worthy of anyone.
Nor you.
Yes. You.
I am worthless. A worthless putrid being.
A pretender, a fool, a hypocrite, an immature bastard.
Those words still ring into my mind.
I don't want to prove them wrong.
Because sadly, it's the truth.
I am a person who hates change.
And personally, I've never changed ever since.
I've never accepted myself.
I've never loved myself.
I feel so different and I feel like an outcast.
As if I don't even belong here...
I wanted a home...
But home is home...and my home, for me, I just can't describe it.
Nor do I want to even describe.
It's pointless.
It's hopeless.
I'm hopeless.
I can even say at time in my life, that I am the worst human being.
I am all alone.
And sometimes. I can feel the suicidal thoughts rush into my mind.
What if I never existed?
What if I die?
Would that solve the problem?
Would things become better when I'm gone?
Would things become smooth without me interrupting it?
If I die, do they even care about me?
I am the blackest sheep.
The young, and the terrible.
The retarded, the insolent one.
The fool who made mistakes become big or bigger.
The naive child whom trouble always target at.
I'm alone.
I've always been.
Friends...Family...they keep saying that they're there for me...
But honestly...nobody came.
I'm always alone.
Even for the people whom I cherish the most...
When were they ever there when i needed them?
The time where I cried, the time where I was hurt
The time where I snapped, and the time where i felt insane that I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm sick of myself.
For being this way.
I hate it.
I hate myself.
I don't love myself...
Just only...
A miracle would happen.
But I know. People would always care.
When it's too late.
I am sick of my existance.
I am sick because of how people see me, especially the people who I love.
They see me as a criminal, a fool, a lunatic and a child.
I've tried to change for the better...
But people don't notice it anymore.
They don't know what I'm going through.
People could just judge right away.
I smile, I laugh, I jump with joy.
Fake.
Everything is fake.
Happiness is a lie.
For me, darkness is where I belong.
I belong to a place where nobody would even remember me...
A place where I am alone, forever.
No love, no happiness...
The glow only shines for a moment, and then it goes back to it.
I am done.
If only I know what happens....
I'd be glad to know.
Only one way to find out.
...............Farewell.
See you on the other side.
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Special News!
4 min read
Hey guys! It's been a while since I've made a journal...like...days or months or so? I don't know.
BUT...I have some news for everyone!
Okay! This might shock you..a bit. Just a teeny weeny bit.
Guys. It's official! I have my own Valentine's date
and my own boyfriend
. . . .Yep! For me. . . personally. I haven't felt this nervous in my entire life when I became official with him! Honestly. . . he's the best of all
So without further ado, I'm going to describe him. But, I'm not going to tell who he is, since I want to keep this a bit of a secret. Heh. And I'm going to write all of the things that I think about him and describe him.
(To those people who already know him, don't be a party pooper and don't tell who that person is. Thank you~)
BUT...I have some news for everyone!
Okay! This might shock you..a bit. Just a teeny weeny bit.
Guys. It's official! I have my own Valentine's date
and my own boyfriend . . . .Yep! For me. . . personally. I haven't felt this nervous in my entire life when I became official with him! Honestly. . . he's the best of all
So without further ado, I'm going to describe him. But, I'm not going to tell who he is, since I want to keep this a bit of a secret. Heh. And I'm going to write all of the things that I think about him and describe him.
(To those people who already know him, don't be a party pooper and don't tell who that person is. Thank you~)
ALRIGHT! Here we go!
- He's been a long great friend of mine, ever since we first met.
- His favorite food is pepperoni pizza, which I also am a pizza lover myself <3
- He plays video games (like Mua~)
- He does role play with me and the gang in Discord and in dA.
- He sucha sweet and cute guy~
- He's the same age as me, but he's older and he lives in US
- He's a grade older than me, which I am a 10th Grade.
- Me and him are perverts (but I can say he's more than meh. Huehue)
- He's smart and . . . he's handsome ./////.
- And most of all, he's the most precious person to me and in my entire life.
A Message to my One and Only
Hon, if you're reading this. I just want to say, that I love you so much from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how you mean so much to me...from my dark and damp life, you have brought the color I need to bring out the best in me and to feel genuine happiness with you. I hope our love will truly last, and I hope I will be your first and last love I know it's hard being so far away from one another...the feeling that we can't see each other personally...we are 8,917 miles from one another...but distance doesn't matter right? As long as we love one another and stay strong, we can really make it <3 Honey, I love you so much and it would be such a loss to lose someone like you <3 I love you so so much. And I just hope you remember that <3
I love you honey... <3 And Happy Valentine's Day to us. <3
Clues: (pick one)
Answer: It is in a chatroom!
I know it's hard being so far away from one another...the feeling that we can't see each other personally...we are 8,917 miles from one another...but distance doesn't matter right? As long as we love one another and stay strong, we can really make it <3 Honey, I love you so much and it would be such a loss to lose someone like you <3 I love you so so much. And I just hope you remember that <3I love you honey... <3 And Happy Valentine's Day to us. <3
Clues: (pick one)
Answer: It is in a chatroom!
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